Saturday, March 21, 2009
Husband Wants To Sail With Other Woman
DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Mike," and I have been married for 18 years, but for the last few we have been growing apart. Mike has recently expressed a desire to quit work and sail around the world. He bought an expensive sailboat, took lessons, and is teaching our kids to sail. I tried it, but I'm afraid of the water. I have, however, been supportive of my husband's dream.
I knew Mike was looking for a "crew" for the boat because he couldn't sail with just the kids. Today he told me he has found someone. This crew consists of a married woman and her two kids. Mike invited her to crew after she first asked her husband. He did not ask ME first. He simply announced he had found a competent sailor.
I expressed vehemently that I am against this. I have never met the woman or her kids, and I'm hurt that I wasn't consulted. Mike says he is hurt because I "don't trust him."
By the way, the sailboat is only 37 feet long, and they're planning their first two-week trip this fall. What do you think? -- LANDLOCKED IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA
DEAR LANDLOCKED: I think you should start taking sailing lessons immediately. For the sake of your marriage, I advise you to remember that YOU are first mate, so haul anchor and get moving. If you think you and Mike are drifting apart now, it will be nothing compared to when he starts living his dream and sets sail without you.
You obviously have missed the boat. It's time to fish or cut bait. We highly recommend you learn the ropes as soon a possible and throw that wench overboard. The sooner you learn to trim the sails the faster you will not fail. So haul anchor and jump on board Mike's ship.