THOSE WHO participate in it regularly know that sailing is wonderful, even better than sex. If you’re not a sailor, you might find that hard to believe, but it’s true. Here’s the proof:
• You never have to hide your Sailing magazines.
• It’s perfectly acceptable to Sail with a professional.
• There’s nothing in the Ten Commandments that discourages Sailing.
• When your partner videotapes you Sailing, you don’t have to worry that it will show up on the Internet.
• Your Sailing partner won’t quiz you about people you Sailed with before you were married. Or after.
• It’s quite OK to Sail with a perfect stranger.
• When you meet a really good Sailor in a bar, you needn’t feel guilty about imagining the two of you Sailing together.
• There’s no danger whatsoever that if you Sail by yourself you’ll grow hair on your palms or go blind.
• You can have a Sailing calendar at work without precipitating a sexual harassment suit.
• There are no known Sailing-transmitted diseases.
• When your Sailing partner insists you bring protection, any old anorak will do.
• Nobody expects you to Sail with one partner for the rest of your life.
• You never have to wonder next morning if your Sailing partner still loves you after a one-night Sail.
• Nobody slaps your face if you ask: “Do you Sail?”
• Your Sailing partner will never say, “Not again! We just Sailed last week, for goodness’ sake! Is that all you ever think about?”
POSTED BY JOHN VIGOR